April29
Mullets
Hat Hair
Hot dog eating contests
Church Recipes – See church food related posts, especially if you’re hungry while reading this and need an idea for a snack!!! Yay!
The distinct clientele at a buffet – think Ryans, All-U-Can Eat, or free breakfast buffets at hotels-oh the glamour
Watching people make their calculated decisions at the All-U-Can eat buffets. Notice how their eyes
dart around everywhere. They seem worried about the food items that could be going going GONE! Ex. Eggs, biscuit, bacon and sauchie. They are worried only the yogurt, fruit and vast containers of dry cereal will be all that’s left. As the BeeGee’s once said, "TRAGEDY"!
Women who talk in really breathy voices to their babies and refer to their baby as just, "baby". Ex.: "What is baby doing?"
The way a friend of the family pronounced her husband Charles’ name like, "Chols". Her cousin pronounced her husband’s name Ralph, "Rayfe".
Hardcore butch lesbians that have a really feminine voice. Ex: You call up the brake shoppe to find out if your car is ready to be picked up. The receptionist has a friendly, feminine tone of voice, almost as if you are talking to one of your best girlfriends (no pun intended) on the phone. You feel instantly comfortable and make some jokes together, such as, "Girl, I’m ready for the weekend, a pitcher of ‘ritas, some chips, sals
a and some Jimmy Buffet tunes!! Wooooo!!" Then you get to the auto shoppe and spot a cute petite fella behind the service desk who is sporting pleated khakis, a red polo shirt, and a large black wrist watch, in fact, he was the spitting image of Sawyer from Lost!! You inquire about picking up your jalopy and when the kind gent speaks, you instantly recognize the familiar phone voice of your new "girlfriend" . Oh Shit…… Time to pay the bill, grab your jalopy and go!
BIG UNKEMPT BUSHES and armpits.
The Dear Sis Lettas – see all the posts, every one of them, all of them…ALL of them.
The way students – especially college students, refer to political science as "poly-si" or psychology as "psyche 101" and is often pronounced with a slight northern accent, whether they have one or not.
Big bangs on country girls – in Atlanta they were called, "The Kennessaw Claw"
When adults wear lots of bling to Chuck E Cheese and amusement parks. Don’t you think they look rich? See what we bees talkin’ ’bout? Umm humm
Watching overweight, past their prime jocks, shop for food on super bowl Sunday. The cart has a fine assortment of cocktail weenies, mustard dip, pretzels, beer, cheese, chips, petite fours, finger sandwiches, a crown rib roast, mints, waterford crystal, sparkling water, Perrier, an adult baby outfit, condoms in case any one decides they want to turn gay at the Super bowl party (remember SAFE SEX), and some other stuff too, oh yeah, almost forgot,
the champagne fountain.
We are, funny that is.
Our Blog
Our Fucked lives
Our friend, Abernasty
Michael Landon’s hair from Little House on da Prairie.
Various types of teeth: Corn, rice, grill, peg, extra long gums w/ very little teeth showing, buck…If you think of some other types, holla…
Whole foods (Not the grocer mind ya) in poop that haven’t changed over to the brown color. (corn, peanuts, jelly beans and peanut butter mashed (potatoes that is, but when you talk about the recipe, you don’t reveal that it is actually potatoes. Thank you Lisa from Top Chef)
When kids accidentally say cuss (curse) words.
When people pronounce the word syrup like sear-up.
When people pronounce the word electricity like electrizzzity.
When people pronounce egg, bag and dragon in a way that rhymes with the word vague.
When people go to the eye doctor in secret hopes that they are going to have to get glasses just so they can pick out some cool new specs. Wouldn’t be so funny if they only needed a monocle.
Accidentally farting or quieving in yoga class when the new age music stops. Opps! Then it’s even funnier if you apologize out loud to everyone and make a big STINK over it.
Unexpected hairy armpits on women. Ex: Someone who is well kept lifts up their arm and you spot a quick 
patch of hair (any color). We try to act all laid back and cool about it like it’s a free country and all, but we want them to keep lifting their arms up because it’s so damn freaky and fun to see. It’s like a private part. Imagine Cinderella having big bushy armpits. Got the picture now?
Noticing in the check out line at the local grocer when the clients are buying a handful of ever so random items. Ex: Tampons, mac ‘n cheese and a blue poster board. You totally start judging them and thinking of all the things they’re going to do with those 3 things when they get home. As if all 3 items are related. On the rag, hungry and she is working on her slogan and needing a poster board (blue) for that.
The Scary Wicked Toddlah – a book checked out by one of our kids at school.
Our website
You are driving in your car and a certain feel good song comes on and you instantly start pretending that you are new to the city, with a look of exploration on your face. You open your mouth half way with a slight smile while looking out of all of the windows in your car. This works best if you are driving. When the song is ov
er, you return to normal.
Guys that look like Jesus and love it. See picture, yeah yeah we know he looks more like Moses, but you get the gist.
People that you can’t tell whether they are male or female. Androgynous to the max. Ex. Terry Gibbs and Heidi Klum, NOT Ellen or Katie Lang or anyone else of the like.
Old man Hoffman
Old man Winter
Dirty Old men
Dirty Old women
Dirty Old children
Old men in gay porn movies because they look like they would be in church instead.
Playing "dirty" Barbies
When you see a mom and her son holding hands and he looks too old to be doing that.
Pam at the grocery store always calling one of our kids "Gibson" instead of Griffin, which isn’t his name either, we just tell people it is.
The thought of old people having coiffed bushes. Think 80 year old woman with a landing strip or 80 yr old man with a "manscape". Yummmmm. 
Old school Willie Wonka with his unique flair of mystery
People that always look like they smell something bad.
When someone leaves the gymnasium and lights up in the parking lot.
Flash Friday – look it up if you don’t know what it is. See Craigslist. Thanks D.
dart around everywhere. They seem worried about the food items that could be going going GONE! Ex. Eggs, biscuit, bacon and sauchie. They are worried only the yogurt, fruit and vast containers of dry cereal will be all that’s left. As the BeeGee’s once said, "TRAGEDY"! 
a and some Jimmy Buffet tunes!! Wooooo!!" Then you get to the auto shoppe and spot a cute petite fella behind the service desk who is sporting pleated khakis, a red polo shirt, and a large black wrist watch, in fact, he was the spitting image of Sawyer from Lost!! You inquire about picking up your jalopy and when the kind gent speaks, you instantly recognize the familiar phone voice of your new "girlfriend" . Oh Shit…… Time to pay the bill, grab your jalopy and go! 
the champagne fountain. 
patch of hair (any color). We try to act all laid back and cool about it like it’s a free country and all, but we want them to keep lifting their arms up because it’s so damn freaky and fun to see. It’s like a private part. Imagine Cinderella having big bushy armpits. Got the picture now? 
er, you return to normal. 
some new ones. We want you to read these, laugh so hard you fall out of your seat and after you recover, tell ALL of your friends, family, the cashier at the grocery store, your parole officer, a talent agent, and everyone else you know -and don’t know (but probably not your priest, preacher, etc), to read them. Oh, and don’t forget the rest of our blog too, it’s also funny. So, chill out, put on your smoking jacket and ascot, grab a fringed trimmed ottoman for your feet, and have a few laughs on us, at us or with us.